Enhance Your Relationship: Co-Journaling Tips to Enhance Your Sex Life

written by Micah Brown

A quick introduction to co-journaling

The likelihood is that if you’re here right now reading this post, you have some idea as to what co-journaling is, which means you can likely skip down to the next section – though, if you’re a completionist like me, you’re probably going to read through the whole thing anyway.

If you’re curious about how you might create a daily journaling habit with your partner(s), then you can read more about that on our blog.

Simply put, co-journaling is another communication method to add to your couple’s arsenal. It’s a way of communicating thoughts, feelings, and ideas that may be difficult to bring up in regular conversation because somebody might feel judged, embarrassed, or nervous about a particular topic. It can also be a good way to keep tabs on how each person in the relationship is doing.

Some people may use it to leave little love notes to each other, while others may use it as a more formal means of communication that focuses on more administrative tasks that every relationship must perform —such as chores, appointments, plans, and so forth. There are so many different ways you can use co-journaling that if this interests you, you’re going to want to keep an eye on this space to learn more about how it could work for you.

As noted in the title of this entry, we are going to introduce you to the idea of using your co-journaling adventure as a way to enhance your sex life. While there are several topics we are going to touch on today, we will expand those offers in future entries to help really turn up the heat in your bedroom (or whatever room) adventures. 

Starting Slow

There is nothing better than the slow burn of delightfully torturous foreplay before the main event, and what better way to start foreplay than with the words you write to your partner. History is full of steamy letters sent to lovers detailing the acts they wished to perform. The only difference here is that your lover won’t have to wait for the postal worker to deliver the mail. They just have to open your journal and see your sultry words waiting to weaken their knees.

How you begin foreplay in this sort of scenario is something that will be entirely up to you, but I can understand how daunting a blank page can be. Remember, this entry started out as a completely blank page with nothing but a cursor blinking at me accusingly.

So, start slow. Throw a little steam into your morning entry, perhaps a longing to feel their lips against your inner thigh, or perhaps the desire to kiss their neck and nibble on it softly. The idea is to turn things up, even if it’s just by a degree or two, and see how your partner (or partners) respond.

Share Your Fantasies

Perhaps you have some fantasies that you haven’t yet shared with your partner(s). Perhaps there’s something a little kinky or a little different that you want to try, but you’re not certain how to bring it up with your partner. Using your co-journaling as a method of sharing these fantasies is a great way to start the conversation. Start with each person sharing a fantasy they may have been too embarrassed to bring up. Perhaps one of you wants to be tied up, and the other wants to do the tying, but both are so nervous about the conversation that they may not otherwise start it.

Allowing a safe space to be able to share fantasies like this can be very freeing and open each member of the relationship to new experiences.

Getting Into It

Once you’ve done some foreplay and fantasy sharing, you can start delving deeper into the sensual possibilities of your journaling. While sexting can be a fun way of teasing each other throughout the day, using your journal as a means of exploring your sexuality can create a certain level of anticipation and growing curiosity. Reading an entry that gets you steamy, responding to that entry, and then having to wait the entire day to read whatever comes next can build the expectation and desire so that when it’s time to finally sit down and read that next entry it hits harder than a full day of sexting might.

Roleplay and Journaling

If you’ve ever considered taking part in any kind of role play in the bedroom (or any room), then journaling can be a good place to start that adventure. Within the pages of your journal, you can create an entire scenario that turns you on and invite your partner to join in that fantasy. You can begin by bringing up your fantasy in a journal entry, then maybe teasing them a little with some thoughts on how it might go without delving into too much detail. Finally, once you both have determined that the time is right, you can start getting to descriptive scenes and actions that your partner can read and respond to.

This kind of communication and role-play can be done safely before it's ever moved to the bedroom, if it’s ever moved there. It’s important to remember that just because you enjoy reading a fantasy on the page, maybe the reality of it is simply too frightening or triggering to try in real life. This makes sharing these experiences with your partner through the journal that much more intimate and special.

Moving Into the Bedroom

Once you’ve teased, explored, talked about fantasies, and written erotica to each other, you may feel it’s time to move things into the real world! Remember that if you’re taking fantasies from the page and turning them into reality to take it slow and steady. The reality of some fantasies can become too much for some, and things may need to slow down. Any time you try something new together, be sure to have a conversation about what you’re doing. Choose a safe word or phrase that you can both agree on that will immediately stop all activity in the event somebody becomes overwhelmed or triggered.

Wrapping (Tying?) Things Up…

Communication is key when it comes to relationships. Whether you’re talking about sex or your feelings about your day, being open and honest is always going to net a better result than trying to hide who you are. Talking openly about your desires is a great way to make certain that all parties involved are getting their needs met, both in and out of the bedroom.

Co-journaling is a great way to foster open and honest communication between those who share a relationship and desire to keep it healthy. Our goal here at Embrace is to provide you with a tool that will help you meet your relationship communication goals. This is just one tool to help you along the path and can be used by partners who share a living space, to those who live across town, and even across the world.