Journaling for Couples: How to Approach Sensitive Topics and Foster Open Communication

written by Micah Brown

Any book, therapist, or best friend will probably tell you that communication is the best way to keep a relationship healthy. How you communicate within your relationship differs based on many factors, but no matter how you communicate, bringing up a sensitive or important topic can feel nerve-wracking. While some prefer to simply rip off the bandage and blurt out the issue they wish to talk about, others may find themselves more reserved when it comes to bringing up the important or delicate subjects.

What is a sensitive topic?

For many, talking about sex and sexual desires is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome in a relationship. We may desire something in the bedroom that we are not ready to discuss early in a relationship. After time passes, we may become nervous to bring up the very idea of it for fear that our partner will think less of us for having such a desire. If you do not communicate those desires, you may never discover that your partner is also interested in experimenting with it, or at least open to it. If you do, however, you may find that your partner(s) will open up about their own desires as well.

Others may find talking about emotional topics frightening. Often, those who are neurodivergent may have difficulty discussing their emotions. It’s a misconception that those who live with Autism Spectrum Disorder, for example, don’t have emotions. Those of us who are autistic have very deep emotions, though we may not display them for the world to see in the same way as somebody else. Opening up our emotional selves to others can be difficult, but finding a way to share that inner life with a partner is vitally important.

And then there are those who may feel that they don’t know how to bring up a mistake that they have made for fear the confrontation will become uncomfortable or hostile. Whether it is having forgotten to pay a bill, overspending, or even infidelity, being able to talk about the mistakes we have made often feels daunting. 

Our goal here is to help you find ways to better communicate with your partner(s) in whatever way may work best for your dynamic and your individual needs. These are just a few ways that you can bring up sensitive topics in your relationship.

Relationship Therapy

While many view therapy as a last resort for a doomed relationship, it really should be one of the first steps a couple (or thruple or more) should take when they discover that there is a communication blockage or breakdown within the relationship dynamic. A therapist can help guide the conversation around difficult topics, allowing each party a chance to speak and be heard.

Even if you’re not suffering any kind of communication issues, speaking to a therapist can help prepare you for conversations you may never have expected you would need to have. There are many resources that can help you find a therapist, including online options. 

You can also check out this list of online therapy options that work with couples.

Rehearsal

This may seem odd to some, but rehearsing what you want to say in a mirror or even with a friend or family member can help bolster your confidence around a particular topic. A third party can help you hone your words, provide insight into how your partner(s) may respond to your language, and help you refine the language to a point that you are comfortable with.

Write a Script

Sometimes, it may help to write out all the words you want to say before you start to rehearse. Starting a script with a brain dump of everything you want to say without consideration for how it is worded will help you get the thoughts out in front of you and help you arrange them into a workable script.

Writing/Journaling

Once again, we are turning to writing. This time it can be in the form of a journal entry or a letter. If you’ve established a co-journaling routine using the Embrace App this can be the perfect spot for you to bring up topics you might want to discuss with your partner(s). Whether you want to talk about something emotional that’s important or bring up something sexy you might want to try in the bedroom, using a journal like Embrace can be a great help in broaching those topics.

The Period at the End

The only wrong way to communicate is to not communicate at all. Find the best ways that work for you and your dynamic so that you can all work together to better understand your wants, needs, and desires, as well as the wants, needs, and desires of your partner(s).

Please remember that there are resources out there to help you communicate better.