Increase your relationship satisfaction with relationship meetings
written by Maja Metera
Relationship meetings are designated time slots allowing the couple to review the past week and prepare for the upcoming week. They are a time to discuss feelings, expectations, finances, plans, etc. They are a structured tool for improving communication, resolving conflicts, and deepening emotional connections in a partnership in a safe, productive environment. This article will walk you through what you can gain from and how to set up relationship meetings.
Benefits of Relationship Meetings
Relationship meetings positively impact a couple’s individual and dynamic-specific well-being. They offer many advantages, including strengthening communication, managing conflict proactively, and supporting personal and joint development. Research has proven that they all lead to enhanced relationship satisfaction and, consequently, it’s longevity and stability.
1. Strengthen Communication
With relationship check-ins, you have a designated time to focus on gratitude and challenges together and to discuss finances and plans. You dodge the risk of spilling information on your partner when they are unprepared, which usually leads to inappropriate reactions and misunderstandings. Instead, you foster open and honest communication within your relationship.
You create an environment where engaging in regular, meaningful conversations is easy. Research emphasizes the importance of proactive communication in maintaining relationship health. You facilitate self-disclosure of needs, desires, and feelings, making everyone involved feel heard and appreciated.
2. Manage Conflict Proactively
It has been argued that proactive conflict management sprouts from good communication skills. Open dialogue, fostered by efficient check-ins, helps partners navigate their expectations and reduces the potential for conflicts to escalate by addressing concerns early on. People who address problems sooner rather than later are less likely to experience significant relational deterioration.
Moreover, you actively work to reduce the prevalence of the demand/withdraw communication pattern. This behavioral pattern is characterized by one person or side being the “attacker” while the other ignores them and distances themself from the situation. Understandably, such behavior is not fruitful or helpful in solving issues as communication does not occur.
Regular relationship meetings provide a structured format for early interventions, preventing minor issues from developing into more severe conflicts.
3. Support Personal and Joint Growth
Relationship meetings support personal growth by encouraging partners to reflect on their contributions to the relationship. Joint discussions help align life goals and support each other's ambitions, leading to a more fulfilling partnership. By regularly engaging in self-reflective discussions during relationship meetings, partners can better understand their roles and contributions, leading to mutual support of each other's personal and professional goals.
4. Enhance Relationship Satisfaction
Those changes result in better communication skills, stronger emotional bonds, and feelings of deep connection. As reviews of relationship education research show, they spark long-term relationship satisfaction and stability. So why don’t you carve out 1h in your weekly agendas?
Setting up Relationship Meetings
1. Frequency and timing
Technically, there is no rule of thumb about how often you should hold relationship meetings. However, make sure to make them regular. Based on your schedule and needs, you can start having them once a week and adjust the frequency as you go - making them bi-weekly or monthly.
As you change the frequency of your meetings, make sure to adjust the time and agenda. Monthly meetings will naturally have more of a helicopter view of the month and might run longer than weekly ones simply because of the number of things to discuss.
Pick a time when everyone can remain undistracted and relaxed, e.g., Sunday morning is typically a better time than Tuesday before or after work when you either have to rush or your thoughts are preoccupied with the working day's events.
2. Creative the Right Environment
When you gain some experience having those meetings, you might decide to move from your house or a cafe to the park and have a walk. At the beginning of your journey, we recommend choosing a space as free from distractions as possible, and somewhere you can have access to your notes, journal, calendar, and budget (or other resources depending on the reason for having the check-in).
You might also start and end the meeting with a form of ritual - a meditation, a specific beverage, or setting intentions together. It will help you get into the right mindset and keep the conversation loving, respectful, and productive.
3. Agreeing on Ground Rules
We encourage you to establish some ground rules for the duration of the meeting. Some examples include no interruptions, active listening, and responding with empathy and respect, even during disagreements. Those rules make sure the space is safe for everyone to share their feelings - you can read more about that here [LINK TO IG POST]
Preparing the Relationship Meeting Agenda
A well-prepared agenda ensures that relationship meetings are structured and goal-oriented. It lets both partners know what to expect and prepares them to discuss specific topics, from daily routines to long-term goals. This structure helps maintain focus, promotes equal participation, and addresses important issues. We prepared a worksheet with an agenda and notes space, which you can download by signing up for our newsletter below.
Conclusion
Relationship meetings are a powerful tool that can strengthen communication, enhance relationship satisfaction, proactively manage conflicts, and support personal and joint growth. By integrating these practices into your routine, you can foster a deeper connection, prevent misunderstandings, and grow together in a meaningful and fulfilling way.
Resources
1. Huston, T. L., & Melz, H. (2004). The case for (promoting) marriage: The devil is in the details. *Journal of Marriage and Family, 66*(4), 943-958. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.0022-2445.2004.00064.x
2. Sprecher, S., & Hendrick, S. S. (2004). Self-disclosure in intimate relationships: Associations with individual and relationship characteristics over time. *Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21*(2), 221-240. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.23.6.857.54803
3. Markman, H. J., & Rhoades, G. K. (2012). Relationship Education Research: Current Status and Future Directions. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 38(1), 169–200. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2011.00247.x
4. Caughlin, J. P. (2002). The Demand/Withdraw Pattern of Communication as a Predictor of Marital Satisfaction Over Time. Human Communication Research, 28(1), 49–85. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2958.2002.tb00798.x
